Archive for the ‘Testimonies’ Category

God Loving Me Perfectly

August 26, 2010

God: I am perfect. There is nothing imperfect in Me. I am perfect. I don’t need your perfection. I love you perfectly. Your imperfection doesn’t change My perfect Love for you. What do you think? Do you think that you can change Me? I can’t change. I love perfectly.

Joy: What about the law?

God: The law never made them perfect. The law in your heart does not make you perfect. Your perfection comes from nowhere in you. You have the Holy Spirit to lead you and to guide you, but that doesn’t make you perfect. My Love for you is not based on your needing to be perfect. I loved you first. I have always loved you from the beginning. Just because man sinned doesn’t mean that I stopped loving you.

Joy: How do You see me then?

God: My Love loves no matter what. Sin keeps you from believing that you are loved, because it makes you think that you need to earn it when you mess up. Nothing changes My Love for you. You can’t change it. You can’t change Me. I am perfect and you are not.

Joy: What about Jesus? Why did He have to die?

God: You are just like you never sinned. I can pass over you because of the blood of Jesus.

Joy: Why did He have to die? How does that have to do with You loving me?

God: I can do everything to try to have a relationship with My people. I can do everything, but that is still a one-sided relationship. I did everything for My Son and He did everything for Me.

Joy: Can You talk to me about Your Love for me and help me to understand how You see me?

God: I see you the same way I see Jesus. My Love is the same for everyone because I am Love. How can I show you that, Joy? How can I help you to see that all I am is Love and that that never changes no matter what you do? How can I prove that to you?

I want you to believe it as much as I love you. I want you to understand me and why I do what I do; it is not to make the world perfect.

I do not see the world as a bunch of messed up things–messed up and doomed. I am not depressed. My Love is poured out. I am poured out. I am given for you. I have poured out Myself for you.

What can I do to help you understand My sacrifice for you? What can I say to prove it to you? You are special. You are My child. You believe I love you when you want to. You believe that when you feel happy and are having a good day that you are loved. If you are depressed it is because God must hate you and not love you at all.

What if My Love was not dependent on your mood? What if My Love was always the same and you just don’t believe it all the time? What if I was totally for you and ready for you? I want you to take what I have.

There are no conditions for My Love. There are no conditions to taking My Love. It is available. There are no conditions. You think that you have not met all the conditions for My Love. You think that one day you might get there, but that you aren’t there yet.

You are there now. You don’t have to do anything, go anywhere or become anyone to receive My Love. There is no waiting in my kingdom; it is now. The time is now and I want you to have My Love now. That is what will change you. It is not changing yourself so you can have My Love.

Are you getting it? My Love is free and for the taking. It costs nothing for you and everything from Me; that is the preciousness of My Love for you that you don’t have to do anything to get it. No waiting, no cursing, no problems can keep it from you My child. It is always here. That is how precious I am. That is how neat it is, you would say.

I am loved by those who receive the gift that is there for them. The moment is now. Take My gift of Love and secure it and then you can live My Life. You can be free and be able to live. That is My purpose. Take the Love and go with it. Please know that.

August 27, 2010

Joy: If You don’t need my perfection, what do You need from me? I thought I couldn’t get Your Love until I was perfect. So, I’ve been very depressed because I knew I could never earn it: so, what’s the point of living?

God: My Love is free. If you had to earn it, it wouldn’t be Love. My Love is a different kind of love than you know. My Love is free because I gave everything, so you could get it for free; that is why I love you. Love means you don’t have to do anything to get it. It is free – that is Love – no conditions.

There are no conditions when I love; it is for always. My Love is non-conditional. It does not love you because of something you have or something that looks good on you.

I love you. I love who you are. I love who you are just as is. You are the one I love.

Joy: What about having to keep the law to be accepted by You? I don’t understand?

God: The Law protects you. You are living in My protection when there are walls around you that you don’t cross – that is protection – that is My Love.

Joy: But man kept going outside the walls?

God: Man didn’t understand My Love for them. It is My Love that keeps you protected. It is My Love that wants to take care of you. It has always been a law of Love.

Joy: Why would You give Your people a law they couldn’t keep?

God: It is My Love which keeps them believing that in My Love is what keeps you. That is what always keeps you safe. I have not changed.

Joy: Why do You want to love me? What are Your motives? Are You loving me to get something from me?

God: There are many reasons for why I love you. Do you want me to tell you why I love you?

I love what I see in you. I love to see you, to look at you, to be around you. I love being with you. There is nothing better than to just be with you, spending time with you. I love to be with you.

Remember that it is I who loved you first. I wanted to love you. I like to love you and spend time with you. It is a joy for me.

There are so many reasons why I love you. I give. I always give. That is why Love gives. I always love no matter what. I always love no matter what I get.

Joy: Can You please answer my question?

God: I want you. I want to give Myself to you. I want to give to you. I want to care for you. I want to heal you. That is part of loving you. I want to be there for you, give everything to you – I love for it. It is not something that I am not passionate about. I am passionate about you and for you. You can have it. You can have that passionate Love you long for.

You have to believe that I am for you and want to give it to you. You are worth it. You are the object of My affection and love. Do you understand the relationship? It is really all about that. I am the Lover. I love my people. You are the object of My affection and desires and have always been; that is who I am. I am tearing down the walls in you. Now you are seeing me for who I really am and it hurts you (Joy: It hurts good). My Love is patient, so I have longed for you for a long time.

Joy: What else would You like to tell me? Hooray! (I feel all of heaven rejoicing!).

That is it!!!! This is what I have waited for, for so long. You love me!!! I love you!!! We can be together!!! What a joy!!! There is no distance between both of us. John 17.

Ps 28:7

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.


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Testimony Time

Exo 34:10 And He said: Behold, I make a covenant. Before all your people I will do extraordinary things such as have not been done in all the earth, nor in any nation; and all the people among whom you are shall see the work of Jehovah. For it is an awesome thing that I will do with you.

Details of a miracle

My heart had been acting strange for a few months—beating irregularly and pounding in my chest. Sometimes I could feel it miss beats. I was often dizzy, light headed and out of breath.

After Daddy died of the sudden heart attack on 9/19/09 I became more aware of these issues.

On Wed 10/21/09 I visited my primary care doctor to check out these problems. She listened to my heart and heard a heart murmur much larger than the one I have had for years. (For as long as I can remember I have had mitrovalve prolapse, a problem associated with the valve that shuttles blood from the left atrium into the left ventricle.) But this problem was something more than that.

Because of this my doctor ordered an EKG which I had that same day. This test showed that the new problem was in my right atrium. On my referral records she noted, “right atrial abnormality.” She suggested that my right atrium was enlarged due to having to work extra hard to get the blood into the right ventricle because of a problem with that valve. She said this new problem with my heart was most likely due to some sort of virus that had affected that portion of my heart and damaged the valve.

She suggested I take it easy and have further tests done as soon as possible.

That night I woke up during the night with an immediate knowing that I was under spiritual attack. And I’d opened myself up to the problem because of something I’d done months earlier.

A few months ago, before Daddy died I would go out for walks and prayer time and was completely burdened down with wanting something in my heart. I didn’t have words for what I wanted—all I knew is that I needed to be loved and Jesus’ love the way I’d always known it before wasn’t enough.

And so I would cry and cry for it and it was intense and didn’t seem to be letting up and I wanted this love so, so bad with the groanings too deep for words. One day when I was out praying it hurt so bad I let the hurt and pain and confusion take over and said, “I just want to die of a broken heart.” (I am Italian and get very passionate and intense about things.) Even at the time I said those words I knew that I shouldn’t be saying them. I was vaguely aware that I might be opening the door to attack.

Well anyway on Thursday morning after realizing this, I called some people for prayer. They called others. On Sunday 10/25 at church I told everybody what was happening to my heart and also relayed to them what I’d remembered saying a few months ago on the prayer walk.

They had me publically renounce the lie I’d spoken. Then everyone prayed for me.

As they prayed I felt a warming in my heart, but didn’t say anything. I felt God was healing me, but later in the day I felt just as bad as before—weak, out of breath etc … Craig (my ex-husband, who is a physician) came over that night and actually could feel my heart pounding in my chest. He said not to worry that they could do a surgery to repair the valve.

On Monday with my heart pounding and skipping I went to the clinic at UC Davis for an echocardiogram and an exercise treadmill test. Sitting in the waiting room I happened to read John 11:4 about Jesus and Lazarus. Jesus said, “This sickness is not unto dearth, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified by it.”

But as I read the Scripture it clearly came to me, “This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the children of God may be glorified by it.” I thought of how in John 17 He talks about sharing His glory with us. I thought of how in Romans 8 it talks about all creation being set free into the glorious liberty of the children of God.

Then they called me for the test.

Everything was totally normal! The echo was 100% normal. I had no right atrial problem and no mitrovalve prolapse. EVERYTHING WAS NORMAL AND IN GREAT SHAPE. They said the right atrial problem on the EKG must have been a “false positive.” They could not explain how the mitrovalve problem that I have had for years was gone. (I even had an echo from 2006 that showed this problem.)

The tread mill test was also completely normal.

And my heart is healed more than just physically . . .

In the days since my Dad’s death, I have been overwhelmed with the love of others for me. People have been so loving. It seems that everywhere I go people love me. And I am not afraid to receive their love. In all the recent trials I guess I’ve finally come to the end of myself so that now I can receive. I am so needy that I am finally humble enough to receive it. I’ve stopped being the strong one, the giver, and just become the receiver.

This is what my heart was longing for all along. It was longing for the love of God as it comes through people. This is what has healed my heart physically and emotionally. Truly He is the healer of the broken hearted and we get to participate with Him in that work.

Amen and Amen. Thank you all for praying and for seeing this through to completion!!!!!!!!



Davis, CA



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